Glazer family only willing to sell Manchester United for around £4bn – report

by Leo Nieboer

Manchester United’s owners, the Glazer family, would be willing to sell the club only for a “huge amount”, according to a report.

Reports have recently suggested that Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia Mohammad Bin Salman is interested in buying the club from the maligned American family.

Speaking in an interview last month, Ed Woodward insisted that the Glazers had no plans of selling the club and are in it for the long run.

However, according to The Athletic, the Glazers do have a price for the club – a figure most likely exceeding £4bn.

Maybe we should start a GoFundMe, then? Any of you willing to scrounge off your parents? Does anyone know any oil merchants, web developers or Bitcoin investors? Who here knows – or has any experience of – how to rob a bank? Professional gambling, maybe? Just go full Walter White and make millions from producing high-grade methamphetamine?

Just spitballing here, lads. Either way, that’s a lot of money, and no, it is not coming from the Saudis, whose links with United are nothing more than part of a wider attempt to diversify – on an financial and social level – the country’s largely oil-based economy.

Any further suggestions as to how we can pool this cash are more than welcome.

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